Diary of a "lass"

TYPHOON ONDOY - September '09

2009-09-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

An Experience wrote by my cousin....

Dear All,

What a disastrous and unforgettable experience I have yesterday during the typhoon Ondoy.Pag-asa said we are only signal no.1 but it rained so hard which is already equivalent to 1 month of rainfall.

The night before that, Sept. 25,2009 we were in Araneta to attend the last day wake of a friend's relative and even went home before 12:00 MN. It was not even raining that hard but pouring continuosly. Early 8:30 am of Sept 26,2009 I went to work due to backlog loads and it was not even raining so hard. Around 9:00 am the skies are colored black already and the wind is so strong as seen from our windows in the 16th floor. Little by little the water in the streets went higher and higher until it reached waist level. One step more it will already go inside our building lobby and if it happens they are going to shut off all the elevators already. Feeling ko parang titanic na...noh ba yan!..... Around 1:45 pm inspite the continous downpour of rain me and my officemate decided to go home inspite all circumstances we will encounter along the way. Suicide na kami. If we will stay put the more we cant go home.

We went down the basement and passed at the side of our building which the water is only knee high. We walked from Makati Med till Reposo near Jupiter and St.Andrews church going kina Paling. ( my cousin ). We were able to ride a taxi from there but stopped at the foot bridge of Makati Mandaluyong bridge because down there the way is not passable. Walking through we saw that Ilog Pasig already overflowed.Ngeee! Walking our way down, I am hesitant to take the last step na. Many are walking in the rain and no choice... need ko lumusong. The water is dirty and cold. I was thinking mas malinis pa yata ang tubig pag bumaha dun sa atin. Wala na.....have to walk through. I've been making calls and texts to Rodel, some friends and officemates of our experience...even told them not to pass by here and better stay put in the office and be safe. At first it's only knee high until it reached waist level na...I've been walking in the center barefooted with my friends with all the sand and stones pricking our soles. Kawawa naman ako! I already wanted to cry because of the the situation we are here.Barangka area we were able to ride a tricycle to Sambahayan ...tired, sighing and soaking wet! Grabe....... i arrived after 4pm home and directly go to wash up. Have been calling my staff in the office,relatives and friends to check on them also. Brown out! Our means of updating ourselves with the situation is only thru radio. We cant sleep also and pinakikiramdaman ang paligid kasi bumaha din dito sa condo. In fact, Leo's house was flooded. Good Rodel was home and no work kaya he was the one looking and watching the condition here sa condo . We have lights around 12:00MN and we still managed to watch TV to update ourselves.

On the other hand, the house in Marikina was flooded. Annie, Papa and the 4 kids were all alone there and the water reached till shoulder level inside the house. Lahat ng gamit sa baba was destroyed. The ref is floating and all other things inside the house. The owner was totally submerged and some of their neighbora and relatives stayed with them sa second floor ng house. Though they're okey na we still dont know what will happen next. All roads going to their area is not passable till today.Hay......

Now, I realized that life is so short. In a glimpse when God calls you.. you cant do anything! No paalams...nothing whatsover! Good we are all safe inspite of what happened.
God bless and always stay safe. ALWAYS PRAY FOR GUIDANCE AND SAFETY.

God bless and best regards,
Neneng ( Len )

Dog can always be a Man's "best friend"

2009-05-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

In so many ways a dog can be a man's best friend;

Dogs have true loyalty and unconditional love than a man.

They absorb mans sickness and sensitive enough to what we feel;

they will be there all the time, to protect us in any trouble may come.

Imagine coming home from a stressful day at work and being greeted by your

four-legged companion tail wagging. Your stress and tension evaporating away

as your dog snuggle up to you.

Would it be nice if we treat our dogs as natural or real man as we could.

Owning a dog is how you treated a real person as your friend.

Take care of your dog's health, handle dog behavior problems and food intakes.

How you take care of your dogs affects of who or what the person you are inside and out.

Other way around they will protect you in return as what you treated them though.

Love your dogs.....

-tiwin-

Create Your Own Dreams

2009-05-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

Dreams can come true if you take the time to

think about what you want in life.

Get to know yourself

Find out who you are

Choose your goals carefully

Be honest with yourself

Always believe in yourself.

Find many interests and pursue them

Find out what is important to you

Find out what you are good at

Don't be afraid to make mistakes

Work hard to achieve successes

When things are not going right

don't give up - just try harder

Give yourself freedom to try out new things.

Laugh and have a good time

Open yourself up to love

Take part in the beauty of nature

Be appreciative of all that you have

Help those less fortunate than you

Work towards peace in the world

Live life to the fullest

Create your own dreams and follow

them until they are a reality..

- by S.P.S.-

Career Change ...

2009-04-18T04:20:00.001-07:00

It came to a point in my life that I realized the things

which i need to grow in some ways.

I begin to seek for something else

that I'm not used to do.

For a long years, I've waited,

things never changed as I wanted to.

Opportunity came and I grab it,

I realized things can be possible

if you really want it to happen.

I challenge myself to do something else

to prove and give a learning.

Learning can be a tool for me

to give myself a growth that I longed

for quite sometime.

This could not be for anybody else

I decide and risk things knowing

this is for my own benefit.

Hope Il be guided on the field I choose.

Im happy of what I have now as I go far

on this journey..

-tiwin-

"Ang Lampara"

2009-03-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

Light is the most needed

and the most useful to our daily lives,

It helps us to describe and

determine some beautiful things around us.

We are grateful that in our times many kinds

of light being invented bulbs and fluorescent's

existence are the most common types we used.

What if at this very time we used

still the lamparilla(kerosene lamp),

Do you think that many establishment exist?

hahaha really it makes us freak!

That makes me wonder, why is it?

That in any place many lamp are posted

but the crime rate in any parts of our country grows every year....

Do you think that using of light

we can do such awful and disgusting disturbances?

Ha! for me its an abuse...

Abuse in a sense that light being

installed for us to be free from harm.

-TaTa- 3'09

Things I hate about ..

2009-03-14T05:06:00.000-07:00

I hate the way you talk to me

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick.

It even makes me rhyme.

I hate it.

I hate the way you're always right.

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around and

the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly, I hated the way i don't hate you

not even close.

Not even a little bit not even at all..

I Miss...

2009-03-14T04:38:00.000-07:00

I miss feeling appreciated and wanted.

I miss that little bit of comfort it gave me.

i needed someone, no one was there

i asked for help, and no one answered

i begged for forgiveness, no one cared

i screamed for attention, no one noticed

i cried for you, no one dried my tears...

Those who sweat themselves,

find (themselves) by *themselves*

I hate this, I've never felt worse in my life.

I need to talk to someone but no one would understand..

I'm feeling completely alone and it's not like

I have anyone to turn to anyway..

I guess I'm just at a point in my life

where I honestly don't know what to do with myself.

have yOu ever felt sO alOne that nOthinq

makez sense, well datz hOw i feel right nOw

i feel as if im facin everythinq by myself

with nOthinq but tearz 'nd a [ f a k e ] smile

-¦- Lonely & Confused -¦-

-¦- Abandoned & Used -¦-

No one can see inside of me *

No one can see how much I care *

Nobody sees the tears I cry *

No one is there to dry my eyes *

She falls apart by herself

No ones there to talk or understand

i`m - spiNning- out of c0ntr0L

th0ught you would be there

to let me know im not a l o n e

but in fact that`s exactly what i -was-

tiwin 3.14.09

Lonely as I ought to...

2009-03-07T03:50:00.000-08:00

I soak up all the pain in »S.I.L.E.N.C.E«

Accepting the fact I have no one »L.E.F.T«

Give me a b0x 0f pushpins s0 everytime i cry

i can pin my l0nley picture t0 the wall

and fill my r0om with my pain and s0rr0ws until 0ne day,

when therez n0 r0om left, i'll pin them t0 where the pain

is really c0ming fr0m...my heart..

It's ironic how when you're lonely,

The whole world seems to be in love.

& it's those days you wish you had a boyfriend, to cuddle with.

hold hands. kiss. tell him everything.or,

just by looking at him and knowing you mean the

world to him and he loves you with all his heart. it`s

those days you have to wish for a fantasy to become

reality. i just want to be loved by someone.

I don't need to be wanted...

I just want to be needed...

Being lonely isn't the worst feeling;

it's being forgotten by

someone you can never forget.

She is lonely even though you can't tell
She is reaching out for what, she doesn't know

She will continue to sit in .s.i.l.e.n.c.e.

And hope that someone may stumble across her

and all of her .e.m.p.t.i.n.e.s.s.

But they only hope that they do it in time

Otherwise she will have .d.r.i.f.t.e.d. too far

letting go of whatever grasp of the world she has

As she slowly fades out of the lives of everyone

Nearly (.u.n.n.o.t.i.c.e.d.)

I don't wish to be everything to everyone,

but i would like to be something to someone.

Gotta use this lonely time

to change the picture in the frame of my mind

outside the window there's a sunny day

yet inside im praying that i will be okay

she thinks she has everyone on her side;

but when things get rough she looks around &

has never felt so alone

Did you think I would cry on the phone?

Do you know what it feels like being alone..

have you ever had that empty feeling inside of you...

like no one cares or loves you back feeling;

as if you would of c r i e d ..

no one would be there to wipe away the t e a r s

* --i`m ALONE in this world --

facing ALL my fears ..

with one FAKE smile ..

and a bunch of useless tears

Sometimes ... the only thing you find yourself

wishing for is for someone to be wishing for you.

The darkness is where i sit, I seem so far away,

Away from everyone else. My world seems to be falling

and there’s no one there to catch me.

I'm alone in this world with just the others

who understand what i'm going through..

It's a long [Road]
to face the world [Alone]

You might not notice, but i need a good friend

someone to talk to when I'm down..

there's so much on my mind that i want to get out

but there's no one around..

Well I can't ever really believe

No one was sent to get me

And I feel like I'm being erased

No one got left here.

sOmetimes I feel liKe i`m the last coOkie

in the jar all alone `Nd broken up x/3i`

M NOT ALONE.

just temporarily..

--» FORGOTTEN.

Barefoot living..

2009-03-01T03:47:00.000-08:00

"To me, 'living barefoot' would be a confident state of mind

in knowing that I'm taking advantage of every day and

appreciating all that I have.

It would be noticing the small beauty, humor,

or irony in things as we go about our day.

So many people get caught up in the day-to-day life

that they often don't actually stop to look around and admire it.

For me, this would also include doing things that I love.

Whether it is within the work day or not,

I like to participate in things that I believe in,

are part of a creative process, and enjoy learning more about.

To truly live a life that is fulfilling and rewarding,

I think that you must examine what makes you happy and do it.

This is a simple concept, yet few actually put themselves

above other priorities in their lives, to make this happen."

"It's not Easy"

2009-02-20T07:54:00.000-08:00

TO APOLOGIZE,

when you have hurt another person;

TO ADMIT ERROR,

when your reputation for honesty;

TO BE UNSELFISH,

when a little extra grab might enrich you;

TO BE CONSIDERATE,

when people get your nerves;

TO REMAIN HUMBLE,

when achievement tempts you to boast;

TO KEEP TRYING,

when many failures have tested your patience,

TO MAINTAIN COMPOSURE,

when temper is up;

TO FOLLOW HEAVEN'S PATH,

when others take shortcut;

but everyone will find that your adherence

to good character pay in the end...

Being in love...

2009-02-20T07:12:00.000-08:00

From how many times that I trust in love,

For so many times I fall in love,

Some of them don't love,

I think I've been cast.

That no one can have my heart;

But I keep on searching for my destiny,

Although some of them don't want me.

I am not saying this for you to love me;

If friends we ever could be,

Just respect me.

If in case you don't want me as what I am,

I can be with someone and don't mind me,

I can set my heart free.

Even if it hurts me so bad,

That can crash my heart;

That is the meaning of being in love....

Tearing flag....

2009-02-07T05:00:00.000-08:00

It is sad to know that our Philippine Flag is

gradually tearing apart;

It really describe the reality of what a

Country we have now;

You ought to....

-tiwin 2.8.09-

Missing place to unwind....

2009-02-07T02:56:00.000-08:00

Summer time is coming,
I missed the place where I used to unwind,

To enjoy, to drink a shots of margarita mixed,

Taking photos in any angle of the sea and shore.

The tagay mode, the "libak ever",

the fun and the confession time.

Secrets revealed after drinking,

chikka to the max under the full moon.

Lying on the sand, tong-its and anything we can do for lingaw mode..

The laughter we shared really seemed to be memorable as it was.

Beaches can be a nice place to go for fun

and enjoyment for life to be treausured..

Dagat na sad ta...

Malapascua is a tentative plan to go this summer

watch out!!!

-tiwin 2.7.09-

Define pretending...

2009-02-04T06:40:00.000-08:00

Define pretending…

saying you're ok, but you're not,
that you understand, but you didn't...

acting like you're busy,
but in reality you're lonely...

convincing people that you just wanna be friends,
but what you really want is more than friends...

when you know that he/she has somebody new,
you ack like it doesn't hurt when it really hurts so bad inside...

when you say its over,
but you know you still love him/her...

and when you say you can't relate with this message,
but then you really do.

HOPEFUL SORRY

2009-02-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

HOPEFUL SORRY
inspired the movie “ALFIE”

Searching for the right one,

Ending with the total of none,

For the days gone by,

Happiness leave and die.

To all I wanna say sorry,

For I have done are so weary,

Under the velvet clouds,

Confusion blows, regretful foes.

Now I will face the truth,

Gone and put you in my thought,

To start the basic with goodness,

Endless whisper of hope will be my fortress.

-tAtA - jUn -2.1.09-

Diversion..

2009-01-29T09:05:00.000-08:00

"Diversion"

- 1-26-09 - tiwin-

It came to a point in life;

Which diversion can help us deviate

things that cannot be handle anymore.

Sometimes we used to turn away from reality

and pretend things to be fine as we ought not.

An outgoing person used to be out with friends;

mingle with others to escape from what they are facing

and divert things into something else to feel them better

as they expect it to be.

Some of this is a diversion to keep our mind off

what is really going to get us.

It's just a resource from the things we don't want to dwell on.

As one person said, If you have problem don't divert it;

Face it with reality, Nose to nose

and accept it wholeheartedly; even in pain.

'Coz no matter how we hive off things,

Only ourselves can get rid of it.

A meeting place...

2009-01-29T08:36:00.000-08:00

A meeting place...
*1/26/09 - tiwin*

A first time and a first place to met a person
where I never thought it was;
Is a place called "Home".

He exists in just a day
Who I never expect it to be;
He came along for nothing and
Unexpectedly, I risk something to met him.

In a moment of a day;
Stories were shared about me and him.
I ought to realized that he is a man
with full of responsibilities;
That anyone could admire him to be
what and who he is...

He can be a loner sometimes
but this never hinder him;
Life's go on as the way he handle it.

A smile on a face can be seen as you look at it;
He never expect it as he ought to.
Hopefully, things will happen gradually as we started
to get to know it.

Tis a place like "Home"
can be memorable with a person
who I never thought I met He was....

Deceiving smile…

2009-01-29T08:29:00.000-08:00

Just because my eye don’t have tears doesn’t mean
My heart doesn’t cry…
And just because I come out strong doesn’t mean
There is nothing wrong..

Often, I choose to pretend I’m happy
So I don’t have to explain myself to people
Who’ll never understand…

Smili’n has always been easier
Than explaining why I’m sad…

-tiwin-

A sensational way to loose a friend…

2009-01-29T07:42:00.000-08:00

1.30.09 by tiwin

I started a friendship with full of memories
That we can talk and share about…

Openness with in ourselves is shared;
Listening to each an everyone’s despair
And downfall may hear.
Understanding for any differences as
Typical friend it seem;
Closeness we became.

Until the moment clash;
As we never expect it to be.
Sometimes there are things
We need to give up for a “Friend”;

It’s so hurting to decide things as we know it
But if that’s the only way you can do to provide happiness;
In the long run, things will turn out fine in a positive side of it.

I’d rather consider things in any perspective,
I can be considerate as much as I want to for a friend;
I can be understandable to those who don’t understand me,
I can be respectable to the person who respects my individuality;
And yet I can be honest as much as I wish to,
But honesty sometimes sucks to protect the person you care about.

A feeling of regret to the things we’ve shared;
Not knowing in the end I’ll lose.
‘Tis I ought to will work for good but it wasn’t.

Dragging myself to many things
Just to deviate into right decision;
Yet unintentionally, I caused hindrance to someone’s WILL.

Selfish I am to this situation
But hopefully, this decision would let them understand
My intentions;

Concerned person as I thought
A friend would I consider
Letting you go as my friend is not an easy way for me to loose;
Still I’d rather choose to be away than facing the happiness
I found in you… Nonexistent friend to treasure!
Sorry for loosing you as my friend on this story…

On Pain and Suffering

2009-01-21T06:55:00.000-08:00

Pain brings suffering and suffering brings pain.

It is a cycle that goes on and on.

No one in this world is free from pain nor from suffering.

Those people who claim that they can't feel any pain are "LIARS"

in the very essence of the word.

Pain is two-faced. Whichever face you get will depend on the choice you make,

on the strength of your will, on the goodness of your heart.

Pain is pain. You cannot run nor hide from it.

It will find you even in the darkest crevices;

Embrace pain, don't shun it.

Pain is beautiful only to those whose hearts are beautiful.

-tiwin 1.21.2009-

Smile radiates from with in...

2009-01-20T05:41:00.000-08:00

When a girl builds walls around her,

its not because she avoids a man.

nor she protects herself..

She does it to find someone;

who would be man enough

to break those walls...

Just to be with her...

-1.20.09-

Sky Coaster Adventure.....

2009-01-19T05:04:00.000-08:00

It's so risky to ride on this sky coaster adventure..

this will not apply to those who have fear in height specifically;

Sky experience adventure is some kind of a gamble,

life or ride, just dare with it..

No harness attached on your chest its just a metal buckle in it

that only machine can manipulate.

Scarry but exciting... its a place where you can shout out

the things you want to be shouted..

Its a nice experience try to tilt in a 55'degree you can feel the bit of your heart...

what a feeling... it can freeeze you in a minute... Tilt ...tilt..tilt..

-tiwin- 01.19.08

Being a "Friend"

2009-01-14T07:17:00.000-08:00

You can always tell who a friend is....

Someone who may be as different from you as night is from day;

but who welcomes seeing life from your point of view.

Someone whose availability for you is not seen in

his being around all the time but in his

Willingness to drop everything when you need them most.

Someone who respect and enjoys your individuality

yet sticks around to remind you,

your accountability;

Above all, a friend is someone

who enters your world and changes it forever..

- tiwin 1.14.09 -

Enjoying my pain....

2009-01-10T22:36:00.001-08:00

Start to breathe and fake a smile

It's all the same after a while

I know,that you are tired

Carrying the ones you lost

A picture frame with all the thoughts

I know, you hold inside

I hope that you can find your way back

To the place where you belong

-tiwin-

2008 Ends....

2008-12-30T23:36:00.000-08:00

2008 Ends

As a synopsis of the year 2008 ended, I just want to say "Thank You" for everything that happened in my entire year.

I started my year 2008 as full of blessings, surprises, and challenges in life unexpectedly.

Thank you for all the pain and hearbreaks that I impatiently give up, for the strength to survive, let go and move on, for the courage to loose the rope knowing things is uncertain, for the humility to forgive to the person who I have sinned, for the love of family and friends, and for the faith and grace to trust again.

Thank you for the continued passion I gave to my job and career, for my officemates you are always my inspiration to keep me going no matter how tired I am;

For the blessings you have showered upon me to travel as an opportunity to explore and unwind.

Life experience this year 2008 is a memory to be treasured and cherished, I can't imagine how I go tru these things to be as memorable as it is.

The moment of loneliness, sadness and even in the time of downfall you are with me;

Happy times and enjoyment still you are at my side.

Thank you so much for accompanying me.

I have so much to do this coming year, now I welcome 2009 again to be with me as I go along my journey.

I open my heart again and mind for the things to happen;

Guide my way of dealing this things with courage, strength and passion.

Shower me all your blessings, love and compassion so I could be more loving and forgiving to others and to those are difficult to love.

Enlighten my wisdom and knowledge so i could come up with brilliant ideas and wise decisions in all aspects of my life. Continue to guard my heart for any negative vibes and nonsense emotions. Always strengthen and humble me. Ignite my passion of service so I could continue to help. and bless me so i could be a blessing to others.

This now I claim and believe that all things happened for a reason and I embrace life in any prespective weither bad or good, happiness or in sadness.

Lets love life for that is our own choice of doing so..

Bless my family and friends, with good health and grant what their heart desires.

Bless also the person who is not good to me, who hates me or don't like me, may you purify their intentions always.

Lastly, bless myself give me strenght in everything I do and good health as always.

Give me continue passion and love to my career.

I also pray that I can find someone who can love me as what I am for me to be completely happy.

Thank you so much for the life you gave as 2008 year ended.

Welcome 2009......

-tiwin-

A dare to cherish....

2008-12-06T20:10:00.000-08:00

A dare to cherish... It started with a joke and bait...
Conversations, thoughts and ideas are shared;

At one point unexpectedly a man exists to dare and never
thought it was real.

Emotions....strings are not attached;
Feelings do not exists, its just a word "dare"
that matter on this reality.

A dare to kiss is not a joke,
it is something to learn from within
A good kisser to be found and discovered;
and it can be a memory to cherished forever.

It was fun to risk something in life but to the
person who can dare to live with it.

-by tiwin-

Friends farewell...

2008-12-06T06:03:00.000-08:00

Your farewell:

Theres a lot of reasons why a person or a thing that we treasured and loved the most can't be with us anymore.

Most of the times it really hurts to hear the word goodbye, but for me, goodbye doesn't really mean an end and it doesn't end like that, in fact its the beginning of a new life ahead of us.

Its a new chapter in our lives where we could start all over again, learn from the past and move on with our lives.

I think everything just come and go... and when someone or something has to go and say goodbye to us someone or something better will come,

sometimess we don't know the reasons why they have to leave us but eventually...

we will know and realize it soon...

The stars shine... less one...

by inho

Is it worth waiting??

2008-11-18T05:06:00.001-08:00

Essence of waiting it is distilled in the fire of patience; only those ... reality like it.

All my life, I've been waiting for my life to begin, as if somehow my life was ahead of me, and that someday I would arrive at it.

It's a choice to wait someone whom you know that it will not come.
Nevertheless, the value of waiting is measured of how patience we are in everything.

- tiwin 11.18.08

Holding hands can be a relief...

2008-11-17T05:26:00.000-08:00

Holding hands can be a relief to a person who suffer pain;
If someone holds your hand sometimes it makes you feel better.

In spite of all the hurt and disappointment it can help lessen
the things you suppose to get over.

You can feel the comfort to ease the pain.
No matter how hard it is still the touch of your hand
can get rid the moment you are down.

Savor the time you hold a person's hand and never lose it first.
you might never know that would be first and last you hold a person's hand.

You cannot turn back the time and moment of giving someone's relief by just
"Holding a person's hand"...

-tiwin- 11.17.08

Rejection

2008-10-31T19:28:00.000-07:00

Rejection
tiwin 10.3.08

I’m trapped to this world called “Rejection”.
Who cares?? Do I look like I care??

I know I’m not the person you are interested with
or wanted too and it never was.

I’m just the least person whom you can benefit with.
I’m just a mess; you can wipe as you wanted to;

I’m a waste; you can dump in the trash if you don’t need me.
I’m just a piece of scratch; you can throw anywhere you want.

You can push me or give me away to those in need.
I mean nothing to you still and not worthy to keep.

You ought to

You’ll be Happy now..

2008-10-31T19:02:00.000-07:00

For the reason of pushing me away from you.
You taught me to realize that life is worth living with out you.

Even it’s hard to do but it gives me courage from the things you wanted to.
I haven’t heard any word from you but I assumed things to be that way.

So tiring to wait for your word “Stay” and its not worth waiting

coz I know I will hear nothing.

I was the one who loose the rope and I was.
Impatient as I am to describe but a loser who I became to this story.

The Blame I put on my hand don’t insists you are to be coz you are not.
This I will suffer and sacrifice for the sake of your happiness; You deserve to be.

Forgiveness will always be the key of your worth to be happy

and I do willing to suffer because of it.

You will be happy now…..

tiwin 10.3.08

2008-10-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

"I Hated Myself as Fooled..."
tiwin 10.2.08

I’m selfish to impose my love to someone
Who doesn’t love me back.
I hated myself to feel that I loved, I missed and I cared;
B’coz the more I imposed that feeling the more I’m deeply hurting.

Being fooled with someone who I choose to love & care of
Is unfair...but it doesn’t give me the thought of quitting to love.

Shame on me for what I have done.
This is not an ordinary me as I knew myself but
Because I’m fooled, it realized me the things
Which wasn’t supposed to be;

Foolishness of me is an echo that keeps me deaf.
A bad dream that keeps me awake anytime I am asleep.
And always reminds me of what a "fool" I am.

If you try to close your eyes not to see things in the past
Still more sweet memories you will reminisce.
The only thing I can do is cry out the things
I wish to be forgotten…

Time chooses its own healingness of pain and despair
Which a man cannot afford to make it.

Never in my mind expect things to happen as I expected it to be.
The more I convince myself that I’m OK; Strong and Patient
The weaker I am in reality.

Will I ever learn you never love me?
When I love you this is I hate to remember.

To forgive is always an easy word to say I’m SORRY!!
But it’s hard to make up.
Apology accepted but doesn’t make me feel better anyway.

I’m tired of these Love or Life???
If tired of Love? It can be healed by Love.
If tired of Life? It’s a choice..
I choose to live or I better choose to Die….

2008-10-11T06:54:00.000-07:00

Loving Someone...

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many Beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.

The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being to let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own HAPPINESS without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all fears, bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.

Do not let the bitterness pare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may have found peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just friendship, or the feelings he might have for u is just too far from how you love him. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to be bitter on love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

"When you lose someone... and you think you were the one who loved most, between the two of you... he lost more. For someday you can love someone the way that you loved him...But he will never be loved again the way that you did"

2008-10-01T04:47:00.000-07:00

Bearing the PAIN...

tiwin 10.1.08

It’s hard to ease the pain if you try to force it to stop.

Heavy to carry as you try to face it.

No choice but feel the pain until hurt no more.

Life is ironic and also life is unfair.. Either way..

It’s not easy to be in pain;

maybe its how I interpret the word pain is ..

It can be in a positive or negative perspective;

But still thankful to feel the pain you’ve caused.

It’s just hard for me to deal it as for now.

Let me bear the pain you’ve caused til the moment I surpass.

A Stranger

2008-09-22T03:19:00.000-07:00

A Stranger
By: tiwin 9.20.08

Strangers at one point,
Good friends we become.

Nobody knows how our world exists;
It’s a matter of time when you
Truly came in.

A matter of fate; where the right person
At the right place & at the right time;

Nobody understands how the universe conspire us
to meet and blossom
this thing called FRIENDSHIP.

But then, it just happens, you click and the story begins.
I’m glad I’m part of your story…

A Cuss in Silence

2008-09-22T03:11:00.000-07:00

“A Cuss in Silence”
DROP
by: tiwin 9.20.08

A cuss with full of dreams;
He paused to look back on the things
He used to do and live with.

He is an innocent bloke as you see him;
An expensive smile that hardly be bought
But full of stories as you get along with.

He can love as he wanted too
He cared to those who care of him;
He is sweeter for those who longed for the sweetness.

What made a cuss in silence?
A cuss made in silence in times of solitude and despair;
He chooses to be in silence if he thinks of his dreams & plans to aim.

He remember the things from the past
That reminds him of who he is and what he becomes now;
Facing the reality makes him accept the fact of what he wants to be.

Being what image he project
Is a way of giving people the courage to know who he is;
May or might be to the person who is sensitive enough to his personality;
A silent cuss to describe is the person who I ought to know.

He has a deep thinking of what really life is and can read person’s mind.
It is rare to find a person who has mysterious being.
He has his own story of being a silent CUSS.

Thoughts of me this day!!

2008-06-22T01:55:00.000-07:00

"thoughts of me this day "

You can close your eyes to the things you

don't want to see but you cannot close your

heart to the things you don't want to feel....

-tiwin-

A Missing Bloke

2008-06-22T00:29:00.000-07:00

A Missing Bloke
by tiwin
dedicated to k.l.p

I missed a bloke I had on hand;

I longed him as much as I could

I missed a bloke who took care of me

For when I am with him I can be happy as I could be.

A bloke can be loved as he wanted too;

You can loved him as no If's and doubts

for he deserved to be loved by anyone.

A bloke whom I missed and love is "YOU";

Don't question me why? what? or How?

For Loving you is no reason to explain at ALL!!

Missing you is a word and thought that strengthen me.

June '08

-tiwin-

Falling In Love

2008-06-22T00:14:00.000-07:00

FALLING IN LOVE

From the book "Letters To My Son"

Kent Nerburn, Author

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how ithappens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery whysome love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons andcauses, but you will never do anymore that take the life outof the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum ofthe bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body,love is more than the sum of the interests and attractionsand commonalities that two people share. And just as lifeitself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, thecoming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift thatcannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift oflove will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it andcelebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream weall share. More often, it will come and take hold of you,celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happen to young people, they too often try tograsp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is agift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out oflove, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost ratherthan accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. Theywant to know what is wrong in them that makes the otherperson no longer love them, or try to get their love to change,thinking that if some small things were different, love wouldbloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that ifthey go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. Butthere is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until theyaccept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need totreat what it brings you with kindness.

If you find yourself inlove with someone who does not love you, be gentle withyourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn'tchoose to rest in the other person's heart.If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don'tlove him back, feel honored that love came and called at yourdoor, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do nottake advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with loveis how you deal with yourself.

All our hearts feel the samepains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you,and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor toassess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is ameaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. Allyou can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the personwho brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem itpoor in spirit. Give it to the world around you Iin any way you can.There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so longwithout love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, andthey begin to look at love as something that flows to themrather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but astheir love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.They cease to be someone who generates love and insteadbecome someone who seeks love. They forget that thesecret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made togrow only by giving it away.Remember this and keep it to your heart.

Love has its time, itsown season, its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You canonly embrace it when it arrives and give it away when itcomes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart orfrom the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery.

BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVE FOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.

If you keep you heart open, it will come again...

2008-06-08T03:57:00.000-07:00

Love Stories: I refuse to

I refuse to wait for you any longer. There was a time in my life when I would have saved myself for you alone. In my heart no one else would do. I belonged to no one else but you. That isn’t me anymore. My heart finally caught up with my brain and I finally saw that all of it was just nothing but fantasies. Dreams that only I wanted. There was no hope left for us. As each day passed, it became clearer to me that it was never meant to be. We were never meant to be.

I refuse to live in the past. What we shared lives in the past, it doesn’t control me any longer. Don’t get me wrong, I will forever treasure it but I won’t let it hold me back. I won’t let it ruin who I was and who I am now. For a time, I almost forgot who I was without you. I’ll never let that happen again. I won’t ever lose myself again.

I refuse to fight anymore. For several months now, I’ve been fighting. I’ve been fighting for our friendship and for us. However, no matter what I do, I seem to be losing. Whenever I feel as if I’m going to buckle down because of the pressure, the thought that somehow maybe you are fighting for us too kept me going. But months have passed, I haven’t heard from you. Somehow I finally realized that I was the only one fighting for us. I was doing everything I could possibly can for someone who was and never will be mine.

I refuse to believe that you didn’t love me. Somehow, someway, I know that I have a place in your heart. You may not have been able to love me the way I wanted you to love me but I know that even for just a second, you really did love me.

I refuse to lose hope. It may not be you. It may take me forever to find him, but I will. Tears have been streaming down my cheeks for too long but not anymore. I have learned so many things from all this. Things that I felt should have been taught to me some other less painful way but somehow I don’t regret it. It made me stronger. It made me look inside myself and really see who I really am and not who I thought I was. Hope kept me going. The hope for better things to come, the same hope that one day I will finally be over you.

Not your ordinary love story...

2008-06-08T03:41:00.000-07:00

Not your ordinary love story...
Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Love Struck! This is not your typical story!

This is dedicated to you.

Getting to know you

You will hate me for doing this and I could never say this in front of you so I wrote it down.

I really liked you, your smart, funny, easy going, submissive and assertive in the right way, very beautiful and

a very responsible person, Never in my life have I met someone like you and never in my life have I cared for

someone like this, I know I’m still young and still got lots of things to learn in this world, lots of people to meet

but I have no regrets for trying my very best to make you believe I really care. I now know this is not just

something in my mind but also in my heart. I am willing to bet all my all to make this work. I know we hardly

knew each other and I am willing to know more on who you are if you give me a chance.

I started off in the wrong side and I wish to make it right.

Whatever your decision may be I’ll respect it and I wish to stay close to your heart or as your best friend.

Thanks for giving me this time.

"Dili sayop ang ma amang sa atubangan sa babae nga imong g ka ibgan…" –LJV

Risking it all

I thought about this for one night, my heart and my mind made a decision to trust you 100 percent. Gambling

may not be good but in order to find the right one is to bet, hope and pray that you’ll win.

Self Sacrifice

The self sacrifices I made where not meant to be paid. Knowing your safe, seeing you smile and knowing you

love me is already priceless to me. I trust you, you trust me.

I love you and you love me.

Angles of Me

2008-05-24T04:04:00.000-07:00

"My Corner"

An achievement whom I don't expect be recognized.

My dedication in work that no one compares.

My passion, determination and positive towards work

made me being me that inspires everyone to be I am.

Hard working as describe.

It is being what I am as I want to be that lead me to this recognition

Thanks for myself for being One.

I dreamed , I soar;

I believe, I hold on;

I survive and I'm

Absolutely human to feel the pain.

I don't know what life brings me

But I am certain that i can be

What GOD wants me to be...

"Ode to Unfulfilled Longing"

I choose to love you in silence for in my silence

I find no rejection.

I choose to love you in my loneliness for in my

loneliness no one owns you but I.

I choose to admire you from a distance coz distance

shield us both from pain.

I choose to imprison you in my thoughts for in my

thoughts I gave you freedom

I choose to kiss you in the wind coz the wind is more

gentle than my lips.

I choose to touch you in my dreams for in my

dreams there is no end.

-tiwin-

How many times I risk for Love But I Failed!!!

2008-05-03T03:05:00.000-07:00

Love is such a nice feeling and even Undescribable at times.
I, myself, had wonderful and not so good experiences about love and loving.

I had my share of pain and joy. but i'm thankful that i am still capable of loving and being loved.

Love transforms and love cures; but sometimes, love builds deadly traps and
can end up destroying a person who had resolved to give him or herself completely.

What is this complex feeling which, deep down, is the only reason we continue to live, struggle and improve.

It would be irresponsible of me to attempt to define it, because i,
along with every other human being, can only feel it.

But i learned that this feeling is present in the small things,
and manifests itself in the most insignificant of our actions. it is therefore necessary to keep love always in mind, regardless of whether or not we take action.

Love requires creativity and when none of this is possible, when all that remains is loneliness and
when loneliness seems to crush all beauty, the only way to resist is to remain open.

Do I really deserved to loved?? or I might not deserving to be loved at all.

y.a -tiwin-